The Art of Dying in Good Health

My latest book is a memoir about the art of dying while still healthy enough to enjoy life. This is an excerpt from the prologue. I am sharing it with you because I see writing as a group project. I can’t do it without readers. I need your feedback to know how my words affect you. And I need your enthusiasm and support to know my writing will help people transform and lead more loving, joyful lives.

Please tell me how this prologue touches you and share it with others.

– Updated March 16, 2025 – thanks for all the comments to date and this is my latest version of the prologue.

I Will Go Gently:  The Art of Dying in Good Health

I used to be terrified of my future death. Nightmares of being over-medicated, confined to a hospital bed in a nursing home, with no control over my life or my death, haunted me. Dying feels like a deeply spiritual and personal experience, and I didn’t want the for-profit medical establishment interfering with my ability to be present with myself and my loved ones when my time comes.

Do you ever think about how you want to die?

I tried to avoid thinking about it. I stuffed my anxieties about dying in the back of my mind, locked them away, and pretended they didn’t exist. But it was like having a moldy, cluttered closet in my house. Even if I didn’t open the door, the mold still seeped out, affecting my health. I locked my fears away because I didn’t think there was anything I could do to prepare for dying, except give loved ones my Power of Attorney for Health Care. But those legal precautions weren’t enough to prevent my parents from being swept up in the nursing home whirlpool.

Have you ever promised a parent, or loved one, that they will never end up in a nursing home?

I made that promise to my parents. Despite my best intentions, they both ended up in nursing homes. I was able to rescue them, but it was a traumatic experience neither of them wanted to repeat. And they certainly didn’t want to spend the end of their lives there.

After escaping the nursing home, my mom started asking me, “How do I die?” She didn’t want to do anything to actively end her life. She also didn’t want to die of an illness or in pain. My mom wanted to die naturally, peacefully, while still able to enjoy her life, and she expected me to supply her with the instructions for how to accomplish it.

At first, I didn’t believe that I could help her. I didn’t even believe it was possible to die while still healthy.

Does dying in good health sound like a paradox to you?

It seemed like a contradiction to me. I believed dying only occurs as the result of a breakdown in the body – such as an illness or injury. Get old, sick and die – was the view I was taught. Yet, after witnessing the way some of my family and friends have died, I decided dying while still mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy is a desirable concept. Many people I know want to peacefully go to sleep and never wake up.

My mother’s faith in me was a gift propelling me to find the answers for her, and ultimately for myself. Together we went on a journey to learn the skills of dying. I searched for the clues concerning my future death that would lead me to the peace of mind I desired. So many myths about living and dying exist in this culture. I had to confront and release them in order to connect to my authentic, deep wisdom about my body, and my health. While many people die of illnesses, injuries, or trauma, there does exist the possibility of living a full life and leaving it in gratitude and relatively good health. Death has become a comforting, loving concept centrally located in my mind. The closet, formerly a jumble of moldy anxieties, is now neatly stocked with sweet smelling affirmations that promote self-care and compassion. 

I hope by reading this book, you will make your own journey of discovery to find what gives you peace, as you contemplate death and dying.

 I invite you to come with me as I piece together the puzzling events of my past, and create a future full of trust, health, and equanimity.  

–  – – – –  –

As I put the finishing touches on my memoir, I am looking to find the right literary agent to help me connect with the perfect publisher for the book.

Please pass this blog on to those who are literary agents or might know agents.

And if you’re not already, you can sign up to follow my blog and I will be posting more about this book and other topics, including Dragon Vision, my second volume of Amazing Fables for All Ages collection which will be coming out this year.  

Thanks so much for reading this – Jan O